Diary of an Extreme Cowgirl

Every cowgirl has an Extreme Story. So What's Yours?

I am working on many updates. I apologize for being MIA.
I had a very tragic event, Feb 2009, and I seemed to shut down with writers block.

Follow along as I dust myself off after being paralyzed from a broken neck.
Are you an Extreme Cowgirl?
Soon you can add your story to http://www.extremecowgirls.com/

Monday, October 20, 2008

Life is short!

Posted by Extreme_Cowgirl



Some people might know already but on tuesday oct 14th I was rushed to sutter roseville trauma center.

I was at school having my college springboard diving team practice. It was almost over and we could practice any dive we wanted. So I got on the board and did a dive I have done for years, a plain back flip.

Something went wrong in the takeoff. I hit my head on the board. I remember hitting my head. then remember being in the water looking up and seeing a cloud of red. I thought "Oh crap, this is not good"

I tried to swim up and found that I could not move arms or legs. Now I thought "Oh holy crap, this is really not good" and kept telling myself "hold your breath, hold your breath".

Time slowed so how long I was in the water I don't know but I did float at the top and a wave pushed me over a bit and I took a huge breath and looked at the first set of eyes to say "help". I saw my coach and the look on his face is frozen in my head. Horror is what I saw.

The next thing I know I am under the water again with a lot of people swimming to me from all over the dive pool. Members of the water polo team and or the master swim team came running from the swim pool and jumped in after me. when they got my head up to breath I kept saying "neck, neck, neck,neck I can't move". They lifted me out of the water using spinal cord management rescue skills, and 911 was already called by my coach.

3 emt students were in my dive team and water polo team so I was in good hands. they kept asking me to wiggle toes or fingers but for a good while I couldn't. For a horse person or any active sport person knowing your neck is most likely snapped and you can't move is the most teriffing thing ever to face. What am I going to do.

I started getting tinggly feelings all over, which was a good sign. I could feel things and people touching me but the feeling is so hard to describe for you. It was just the weirdest thing ever. as I was loaded in the ambulance I could wiggle toes and squeeze a bit with both hands. I was also giving out phone numbers to get word out.

my mom was on the line and wanted to talk to me. They had not told her how bad I was just that I had a bad accident on the board. She was worried I wouldn't be able to afford the short ride to the hospital. I told her "mom, I really need to go now mom" the paramedic took the phone and said "I am sorry to say it like this mam, but your daughter it paralyzed right now and she needs to go asap."
6 min later I arrive at the er. wonderfully people. I was freezing, but that was good to me because I could feel it :) but the had to cut my favorite brand new suit :( I know I know small price.

Poor girls were trying so hard to get IV's in but my veins were just gone from cold and shock. Had the full range of x-rays, cat scans and mri's. Getting the mri they tried to put ear plugs in because it is so loud but my ears are small and they kept coming out. I told them it was ok the sound won't bother me. And I was right, I even had a lil nap all wrapped up in heated blankets.

I was wheeled into my room and sometime later my mom, step dad, dad, grandparents, sister,and others arrived. Still a lil fuzzy on who was where and when :) but hey I had a hole in my head so I have a good reason lol.

I remember the neurosurgeon coming in and saying I had to have surgery asap. I also remember that pain meds do not work well for me. Instant reactions to anything they tried so no pain meds for me. I even had the same problem when they gave me potassium. It burned so bad in my arm.
The surgen showed us the mri's and pointed out that my C3 disk was actually cutting my spinal cord. Without surgery I was guaranteed to be paralyzed with the very neck bump, even a small bump or turn of my head would finish the damage. So surgery was a go.

I have always had a high tolerance for pain but this really showed my so called talent. With little to no pain meds I was somehow able to turn it off. I kept falling asleep but seemed to be in little to no pain. Except for the times I was having reactions to meds. I was on a anti-inflammatory steroid that also was giving me issues but I had to have it to keep my spinal cord area from swelling and cutting more. So I was given it as slowly as my body would allow it.

Wednesday morning the adventure on how to explain where my car was parked and where my locker was over the phone. I told them locker 139. I had no idea that each row had the same numbers and there were letters in the number too lol.. but they got it and found my car. I figured that would be the hardest to explain because I parked in a lil hidden lot because people forget about those spots and they are right next to where my first and last class are.

Wednesday a friend from one of my horse chat boards, as well as a myspace buddy, came and brought a poster with lots of pictures of me riding and below the pictures was "all these horses and you hurt your head on a diving board" lol that was funny.

Now I have to tell you that my humor and joke cracking was at an all time high through this but I was terrified. Surgery where they cut your neck open, shove your throat over and mess with your spine, one wrong move and its over. Horrible feeling.

the surgery went great. the first thing I remember saying was, "can I have water now" and "am I ok".. I had not been allowed to have anything to drink from the moment I entered the Er so that was on Tuesday about 6pm and surgery was late Wednesday. I am told now about some other supper funny things like... my sister said "you look great, they must have done lipo too cause your thin" I responded with "awesome"

the surgeon told me and my family, but they remember better then me, that at first she thought that some of the damage could have been from the years of horses but once she got in there it was 100% from the board and the x-rays and mri's didn't really show how bad it really was. If I had not had the surgery it was only a matter of time till one tiny bump snapped it the rest of the way. surgery was the only logical option even though 2 of the out comes were just as bad or worse. Death or paralyzed anyway.

Thursday I woke up at about 4am and my dad was asleep in a chair. He just about shot out of the chair when I called his name. I asked for water and he got it. Yey! Water!!! They had me in a sea of pillows on my side. but at least I could see the tv now :) I turned it on and guess what. A movie that my dad and I liked to watch together. "Cool Runnings" talk about an underdog story to tell me that the odds may be against me but that doesn't mean I will be counted out. I asked dad to move his chair over to the side of the bed I was on so he could watch the movie with me.

Also on Thursday they had me up and trying to walk, I have sea legs but they work!!!!!

My right arm is fine with a little tingelies at the shoulder but my left arm feels like a log. I have strength in it and can move it but its sluggish. turns out when I hit the board I crushed some thing that goes to that arm. they tell me it should go away in time I just have to keep using it.

At about 7:30am on Thursday it was back to college... for my dad lol.. he went to my classes to try to talk to my teachers. The first class had a canceled tag on the door. argh and that was the class I really needed him to talk too. but the next class was my computer class and I thought my dad and my teacher would hit it off and they did. from the sound of it they had a great morning.

Dad had to get back to the bay area, where my whole family is. My grandparents, aunt and cousin came to visit :) later a friend came and stayed for a while. He also delivered so food for my horses for me to where they are boarded :)

Friday my other grandparents came and took me home.
So here I am, staying at family's house and I am not allowed near a horse or pool for 6 months :(
but I am ok, I think. Just scared of doing anything to mess this up. I looked right into my worst nightmare as a horse person, a para or quadriplegic. And to go along with my murphys law luck Tuesday as I was being sent to the ER "Target" left me a message wanting to offer me a job :(
sure now you call.

I had visitors everyday, and I can't thank everyone enough for letting me know that I do matter to many people. Being wheeled through a hospital in braces and paralyzed is the loneliest moments you will ever feel. Staring up at the sealing as the lights and sealing tiles go by, knowing that there is a possibility that this will the the view from now on. Oh course me being the smart butt I am I asked the nurse. "hey where's the plasma screen tv for the sealing" :)
but all the while shoving my horror and terrified thoughts as deep as possible.

I am so lucky. so many things could have gone wrong at any moment.

"What might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may, in-fact be the first steps of a journey"

oh and for anyone who has had to live with a neck brace for a period of time, How on earth did you find a comphy way to sleep??? sheesh....

I will be updating this with more info as I remember or find horrid spelling mistakes :)

Now to arrange for my horses care. If I can't do anything with them then I need to make sure they are going to get turnout and other things they will need. Sigh

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