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Ha ha! kidding . I am not allowed to ride till spring.
I rode a coin operated horse that I have had for over 25 years. I repainted it a few years ago. But it is my horse though.
Well I am exceeding expectations, by alot. for those that don't know I was injured during diving practice and broke my neck after hitting the board. I am very lucky to have been taken out of the water safely and had a specialist surgeon put me back together.
But I have to wear this neck brace for another 6 weeks at least. I know, don't rush.
It also means I can't drive for 6 weeks. which means withdrawing from all classes which I was kickin butt in. I was so excited to go back to classes.
I wore one of those headbands with bats that are on those springs. I think they are called boppers or something.
Docs and nurses loved it lol.. They also kept saying I was a walking miracle cause they have yet to have a trauma as bad as mine just up and walk out.
I think its the stubborn cowgirl side in me. I am cowgirl tuff.
Oh and the patches of muted feeling will go away in time. They said its normal. After the appointment we went to the school to talk to teachers.. sheesh I guess everyone takes friday off argh.. but I went to see my swim coach. The dive coach is only there tues and thurs so I will have to hitch a ride up another time to hug him. Swim coach tells me my dive coach has taken this really hard. Turns out in the 20 plus years of his coaching, and we are talking big time divers. He is also 2008 coach of the year. but back to what I was saying. In 20+ years I am only the 4th student to get hurt, and no one was as hurt I was. Even in his own diving carrier he was hurt but only broken hand, nose etc.
I am sure anyone there watching was horrified. When I came into the pool area and the swim coach saw me walking to him he had this look of stunned belief. I know they were told I was going to fine but I think seeing is believing so I need to go see the dive team and coach to let them see that I am A OK The looks on peoples faces was fitting for Halloween. like I was a ghost walking by. that's how bad I was hurt. no one really had a good feeling that I was going to comeback whole.
Never count a cowgirl out but I have to admit that when they pulled me out of the water, and while floating in the water, I had bad thoughts too. When I got the tingly feelings I knew there was hope but I also knew that the fight was just starting.
I am so lucky that roseville has an amazing trauma and neuro team. they are amazing and all my follow ups are with the actual surgeons that worked on me.and lets face it.. every person that did anything that day has a huge part to play in me being here and moving. to read more about what happened see "Life is Short" .I was wheeled into the ER as a quadriplegic, BUT I WALKED OUT!!!:)
Note: Read "Life is Short" for full story on what happened
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I had a very tragic event, Feb 2009, and I seemed to shut down with writers block.
Follow along as I dust myself off after being paralyzed from a broken neck.
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Soon you can add your story to http://www.extremecowgirls.com/
Well its been interesting.
True friends and old friends seem to come out of the wood works when something bad happens to a friend. It does not matter if you saw them just hours before or haven't seen them for over 10 years. True friends will come to help.
Even strangers from horsecity.com and other chat boards have offered help and boarding if needed.
Unfortunately people you thought were friends or appreciated your work and help you have given also let themselves be known.
When this happens just let the bad go and appreciate the good that comes your way.
I could dish out how I was shoved out of the barn I was working and paying board at but the important thing is I have the credit card proof my horses feed and care were paid for while I was in the hospital and for an additional 40+ days but they will be moved to new full care barns I trust around the 15th of November. Transportation is being arranged as well as a new home for one of my horses.
How on earth could I find new barns I can afford while still on house rest and needing assistance?
Well that is were the people from all over come in. They know who they are but I will point out a few.
First a huge thank you to my chauffeur and friend from high school, haven't seen in 10 years, Melissa F. She called to check up on me after reading on a chat board about my accident and when told of barn issues she was on her way and drove me all over contra costa county looking at barns. After negotiating a few places I found a great hole in the wall place with an arena, trail access right out the back gate and a hot walker for only $330/mo for a stud. Pretty cheap for the San Francisco bay area. And get this, I knew the owners from 4-H and its only a mile from where I am staying. I can't wait to get to know her again after all these years.
Thank you to Wendy a friend for at least 5 years both from the Internet as well as my annual Battle of the Barns team. She helped me find a place for my other two horses. A friend of hers just bought a foreclosed horse property that has a 16 stall barn. They have offered to board my 31 yr old TB cross and my 3yr old paint gelding for $150/mo each. Pretty nice. And they are very experienced with other TB horses that are hard to keep weight on. Wendy vouches for her and that says alot to me.
Huge thank you to Sandra. She has kept me from going nutts worrying about how to move the horses and to keep the peace. Ah serenity now! I will never be able to thank her enough but I will try.
My mare Bella will be going to a new home that I trust as well. They are arranging transport hopefully about Nov 15th. I will miss her but this is best for her. She loves attention and is super sweet and I can't have her just sitting being lonely.
Fate or something worse is stalking. You can almost feel it, or I can.
One week to the hour that I was rushed to the hospital fully paralyzed and system crashing, My 17 yr old brother is carried by my dad into the ER.
Ruptured appendix and on the way to septic.
He had not been feeling well for days. For some reason I kept thinking appendix but what do I know other then its bad.
The family once again is gathered in the lobby of a hospital waiting to hear from the surgeon on how bad it was in surgery. The Doctor came back down at about 2am I think to tell us he thinks he got all of the leaked fluid as well as the appendix out. Time will tell. If he gets super sick then we know that not all of the fluid was taken out. This is a potential death sentence.
The doctors saw me in my neck brake and said "wow you guys like hospitals, what happened".
When he was told he asked was it an ACSF surgery? I said I think that's what it was called. and then asked "you were paralyzed before surgery?" Yes.
"You are one lucky person the be walking right now"
They say things come in three's... who's next?
all I keep hearing is "Something wicked this way Comes"
Is fate done with me(us) or just getting started?
Some people might know already but on tuesday oct 14th I was rushed to sutter roseville trauma center.
I was at school having my college springboard diving team practice. It was almost over and we could practice any dive we wanted. So I got on the board and did a dive I have done for years, a plain back flip.
Something went wrong in the takeoff. I hit my head on the board. I remember hitting my head. then remember being in the water looking up and seeing a cloud of red. I thought "Oh crap, this is not good"
I tried to swim up and found that I could not move arms or legs. Now I thought "Oh holy crap, this is really not good" and kept telling myself "hold your breath, hold your breath".
Time slowed so how long I was in the water I don't know but I did float at the top and a wave pushed me over a bit and I took a huge breath and looked at the first set of eyes to say "help". I saw my coach and the look on his face is frozen in my head. Horror is what I saw.
The next thing I know I am under the water again with a lot of people swimming to me from all over the dive pool. Members of the water polo team and or the master swim team came running from the swim pool and jumped in after me. when they got my head up to breath I kept saying "neck, neck, neck,neck I can't move". They lifted me out of the water using spinal cord management rescue skills, and 911 was already called by my coach.
3 emt students were in my dive team and water polo team so I was in good hands. they kept asking me to wiggle toes or fingers but for a good while I couldn't. For a horse person or any active sport person knowing your neck is most likely snapped and you can't move is the most teriffing thing ever to face. What am I going to do.
I started getting tinggly feelings all over, which was a good sign. I could feel things and people touching me but the feeling is so hard to describe for you. It was just the weirdest thing ever. as I was loaded in the ambulance I could wiggle toes and squeeze a bit with both hands. I was also giving out phone numbers to get word out.
my mom was on the line and wanted to talk to me. They had not told her how bad I was just that I had a bad accident on the board. She was worried I wouldn't be able to afford the short ride to the hospital. I told her "mom, I really need to go now mom" the paramedic took the phone and said "I am sorry to say it like this mam, but your daughter it paralyzed right now and she needs to go asap."
6 min later I arrive at the er. wonderfully people. I was freezing, but that was good to me because I could feel it :) but the had to cut my favorite brand new suit :( I know I know small price.
Poor girls were trying so hard to get IV's in but my veins were just gone from cold and shock. Had the full range of x-rays, cat scans and mri's. Getting the mri they tried to put ear plugs in because it is so loud but my ears are small and they kept coming out. I told them it was ok the sound won't bother me. And I was right, I even had a lil nap all wrapped up in heated blankets.
I was wheeled into my room and sometime later my mom, step dad, dad, grandparents, sister,and others arrived. Still a lil fuzzy on who was where and when :) but hey I had a hole in my head so I have a good reason lol.
I remember the neurosurgeon coming in and saying I had to have surgery asap. I also remember that pain meds do not work well for me. Instant reactions to anything they tried so no pain meds for me. I even had the same problem when they gave me potassium. It burned so bad in my arm.
The surgen showed us the mri's and pointed out that my C3 disk was actually cutting my spinal cord. Without surgery I was guaranteed to be paralyzed with the very neck bump, even a small bump or turn of my head would finish the damage. So surgery was a go.
I have always had a high tolerance for pain but this really showed my so called talent. With little to no pain meds I was somehow able to turn it off. I kept falling asleep but seemed to be in little to no pain. Except for the times I was having reactions to meds. I was on a anti-inflammatory steroid that also was giving me issues but I had to have it to keep my spinal cord area from swelling and cutting more. So I was given it as slowly as my body would allow it.
Wednesday morning the adventure on how to explain where my car was parked and where my locker was over the phone. I told them locker 139. I had no idea that each row had the same numbers and there were letters in the number too lol.. but they got it and found my car. I figured that would be the hardest to explain because I parked in a lil hidden lot because people forget about those spots and they are right next to where my first and last class are.
Wednesday a friend from one of my horse chat boards, as well as a myspace buddy, came and brought a poster with lots of pictures of me riding and below the pictures was "all these horses and you hurt your head on a diving board" lol that was funny.
Now I have to tell you that my humor and joke cracking was at an all time high through this but I was terrified. Surgery where they cut your neck open, shove your throat over and mess with your spine, one wrong move and its over. Horrible feeling.
the surgery went great. the first thing I remember saying was, "can I have water now" and "am I ok".. I had not been allowed to have anything to drink from the moment I entered the Er so that was on Tuesday about 6pm and surgery was late Wednesday. I am told now about some other supper funny things like... my sister said "you look great, they must have done lipo too cause your thin" I responded with "awesome"
the surgeon told me and my family, but they remember better then me, that at first she thought that some of the damage could have been from the years of horses but once she got in there it was 100% from the board and the x-rays and mri's didn't really show how bad it really was. If I had not had the surgery it was only a matter of time till one tiny bump snapped it the rest of the way. surgery was the only logical option even though 2 of the out comes were just as bad or worse. Death or paralyzed anyway.
Thursday I woke up at about 4am and my dad was asleep in a chair. He just about shot out of the chair when I called his name. I asked for water and he got it. Yey! Water!!! They had me in a sea of pillows on my side. but at least I could see the tv now :) I turned it on and guess what. A movie that my dad and I liked to watch together. "Cool Runnings" talk about an underdog story to tell me that the odds may be against me but that doesn't mean I will be counted out. I asked dad to move his chair over to the side of the bed I was on so he could watch the movie with me.
Also on Thursday they had me up and trying to walk, I have sea legs but they work!!!!!
My right arm is fine with a little tingelies at the shoulder but my left arm feels like a log. I have strength in it and can move it but its sluggish. turns out when I hit the board I crushed some thing that goes to that arm. they tell me it should go away in time I just have to keep using it.
At about 7:30am on Thursday it was back to college... for my dad lol.. he went to my classes to try to talk to my teachers. The first class had a canceled tag on the door. argh and that was the class I really needed him to talk too. but the next class was my computer class and I thought my dad and my teacher would hit it off and they did. from the sound of it they had a great morning.
Dad had to get back to the bay area, where my whole family is. My grandparents, aunt and cousin came to visit :) later a friend came and stayed for a while. He also delivered so food for my horses for me to where they are boarded :)
Friday my other grandparents came and took me home.
So here I am, staying at family's house and I am not allowed near a horse or pool for 6 months :(
but I am ok, I think. Just scared of doing anything to mess this up. I looked right into my worst nightmare as a horse person, a para or quadriplegic. And to go along with my murphys law luck Tuesday as I was being sent to the ER "Target" left me a message wanting to offer me a job :(
sure now you call.
I had visitors everyday, and I can't thank everyone enough for letting me know that I do matter to many people. Being wheeled through a hospital in braces and paralyzed is the loneliest moments you will ever feel. Staring up at the sealing as the lights and sealing tiles go by, knowing that there is a possibility that this will the the view from now on. Oh course me being the smart butt I am I asked the nurse. "hey where's the plasma screen tv for the sealing" :)
but all the while shoving my horror and terrified thoughts as deep as possible.
I am so lucky. so many things could have gone wrong at any moment.
"What might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may, in-fact be the first steps of a journey"
oh and for anyone who has had to live with a neck brace for a period of time, How on earth did you find a comphy way to sleep??? sheesh....
I will be updating this with more info as I remember or find horrid spelling mistakes :)
Now to arrange for my horses care. If I can't do anything with them then I need to make sure they are going to get turnout and other things they will need. Sigh